tunes: Dashboard Confessional - This Bitter Pill

Haha, the weather was horrible. I hate rain. Anyway, today was the day of my speech and I got there early again (as usual) so I sat in Tuttleman rehearsing my speech to myself. Professor arrived a few minutes late (as usual) and I went w/her to get the camera. I really think that since I always do the camera (hey, I've bonded w/it, haha), I should be able to go up and get it myself, but then I'd be stuck outside waiting w/this heavy camera (and maybe the tripod). Anyway, some genius thought it was best to leave the part where you place the camera on the tripod actually ON the tripod. Meaning, it was stuck and you have to screw the camera in. What a pain in the ass. I went second after Walt (we make it our duty to always go on the first day). I thought I was behaving erratically, I was soooo nervous! I hate it, I totally bombed it again!

I had my "card of encouragement" with me. As I went up to the front to prepare for my speech, I wasn't paying attention and I had it facing the audience. I didn't really notice anything until I saw the person doing the time tilt her head. I thought she was looking at my sleeves or something and then I followed her eyes and I'm thinking "Oh Shit!" I think I didn't notice the other snickering from the right side (from my perspective) b/c I was trying to calm myself down. So anyway, I say "Oops, you weren't supposed to see that...did anyone see that?" I hear a few "yes" and one "I didn't see it" so I'm thinking..... oops.

I tried to stay in front of the podium, but I couldn't b/c everyone kept snickering over my notecard, so I retreated behind the podium again. I don't want to think about it all over again, but yeah, I did fuck it up. Again. Well, at least everyone seemed amused by it. Plus, I didn't rely as much on the notecards as I had previously.

My other speech, I had this thing where I would randomly touch my nose. So comment time after my speech, someone mentions it. She says "she didn't touch her face as much as last time" and I'm like "OH GOD! YOU REMEMBER THAT?" She even knew how many times I touched my face (3). That was interesting. And embarassing. I just laughed it off, but inside, I'm pissed at myself (not as much as last time). I managed to do 6:30, so at least I met the limit. I didn't see the 2 minute mark card so I kinda freaked out.

Professor also said I needed to be more louder, to project. It's funny b/c I was working on that last night and my mom was telling me to be quiet. Haha. She also told me of a few things she did "like". Oh well, I just hope I get a good grade. I worked my ass off for this one speech. I hope to get a head start on Policy speech so I can work on assignments for my other classes.

I don't know why I bother going to Economics sometimes. After Speech, I'm usually distracted, completely in a different world.

Oh and about the whole notecard story, you have to go look at my pictures to understand why everyone found it so "amusing". I'll also try to update a few pages if I can.